I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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