would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize