I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
