I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
