You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
