the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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