Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
