Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
why is half of my head shaved?
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