It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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