i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
