I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i now understand why vodka
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
