Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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