my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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