not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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