Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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