They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
