He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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