Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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