i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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