I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
