dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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