Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
