due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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