shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
