you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
