Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
