it's like her boobs came off with her bra
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
