I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
