I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
