The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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