woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
