did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
