69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
