the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
