I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
