She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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