Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
