I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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