You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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