my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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