sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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