Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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