I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
