I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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