My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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