I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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