she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
