Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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