when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize