I accidentally burped into my bong.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
