3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize