Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
