i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize