It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
