he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My ass is underappreciated
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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