i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
