I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
