I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
