your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it because I queefed?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
